Relationships

Scene from the box office hit: Black Panther

“Stop in the name of love!” Quick question who’s your favorite R&B artist? Comment at the end of the blog post if you want! For me I gotta go with my man Craig David hands down. He definitely will set the mood for ya if you’re trying to woo your significant other! Anyone I wanted to talk about my observations concerning relationships here in Denmark! Hopefully the love bug won’t bite ya, for some of us we’re already smitten!

So from the couples I’ve seen while traveling so far people are really open about displaying public displays of affection. Couples of all ages do it and that’s really cool to see. Like ‘yeah, that’s my boo!” I’m so here for it, it makes my heart happy seeing people show their love and appreciation for others that way! It’s just different back in the states where I’m from because people are more reserved about it from what I’ve observed. It was off putting to me because, well I love and cherish you so why would I be ashamed of letting the world know that? I’m happy and honored that you’re with me.

For so long I was disappointed that people didn’t show what I thought was the right way of affection to another person. However I’ve learned there are MANY ways to genuinely show appreciation towards others. I really do appreciate the Danish couples I’ve met and how happy they appear to be with their partners. If you know me well or even partially I’m a hopeless romantic by nature. For so long I arrived to be the perfect boyfriend to whoever I was with at the time. Well over the course of a year I realized…

That is a futile endeavor. I can’t be perfect but I CAN do my best.

My generation in particular and please note I’m speaking from an American’s perspective from the east coast. (Being here has really helped me a lot with geography. I sucked at geography but I’m getting better). From my perspective my generation is hellbent on achieving and emulating #relationshipgoals. We want the world to know how deeply we are invested in flaunting our relationship status. Many of us want: the sex, companionship, relationship goals, a partner, the escape from alleged loneliness, someone to love and to love us. Those are on the surface level positive attributes to being in a relationship.

No one is signing up for: the frustration, growing pains, uncertainty, anguish, building trust, the fear of growing intimate with another soul, the sleepless nights, the arguments, the tests, the hardships, the daily commitment we make to our partner, and all the other aspects that will test the strength of said relationship. Many people would want to avoid that as much as possible.

Well… for most of us that’s what we have to do to make ourselves and our relationships better and stronger.

I’m by far not perfect I’ll be the first to admit that. There are shortcomings that I’m currently working on and need to continue to do in order to be a better man for the person that I choose and want to be with. I’m on that Mary J. Blige ‘Real Love’ type of vibe feel me? Well I’ve learned a lot and I’m growing from it and I’m very thankful.

Important lesson that I had to learn again: keep the hope alive. Don’t develop a defeatist mentality because quite frankly that won’t help anyone. Also there’s a lot of good people but we must look pass the idea of what we think they are and see them for who they are. No one is perfect and that’s okay! It’ll really help everyone in the long run.

These type of things don’t happen overnight. Like knitting, it takes time, love, and patience. Keeping that in mind, you’ll be surprise with what can happen over time 🙂

I’m by far not a love expert by any means! I’m only 21 for goodness sake! These are just the invaluable lessons that I’ve learned from my own experience dealing with love. There’s a very important relationship that we tend to neglect because we’re busy with so much all the time.

The precious relationship that we have with ourselves. No one spends more time with you than you. We have to forgive, reconcile, and work on that relationship constantly. It’s the longest relationship we’ll ever be in.

There’s no doubt in my mind that all of it will be worth it. Life is most certainly a climb but that journey and the view awaiting you, priceless.

In the meantime chill out and go on a run bruh! You’ll feel better trust me I’m speaking from personal experience.

Let me tell you though, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. However don’t loose yourself and forget about the present. It’s a precious gift and my friend, we all deserve it!

P.S: this blog was inspired by a Snapchat question I answered concerning life and love over the pass five years and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I’m still trying to get it right; the only thing I can do is my best. I’m understanding what that means as more time passes on.

Much love and happiness as always!

Ignite Hope.

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