DAMN. (Pun intended)

Discloser: I’m emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted for a plethora of reasons over the last couple of days. It’s been a lot to say the very least.

Let’s set the scene: It’s brick. Like a day in mid February back in NYC and you’re waiting for the 8:15 Bx10 knowing it’s gonna be fashionably late as always. There’s a sea of very enthusiastic Danes and other foreigners such as myself and my sister TP who brought the tickets. People are anticipating this legendary event while forgoing frivolous responsibilities such as school, work, and family. Remember the date because I will, 1 March. 2018. We went to see the one and only Kendrick Lamar who’s doing the highly successful Damn Tour and came to Copenhagen for the night.

Discloser: I’ve never been to a live concert ever. My first one is in a foreign country that is gradually becoming what I would consider another home. Slowly but surely. So yeah I’m setting the bar pretty damn high for future concerts by starting with Kdot.

This man is worth the hype. The energy and respect that his presence alone commands is astonishing.

I was standing there in my great view thinking “wow all these people are here to see and hear you. That’s incredible and admirable.”

He performed mostly tracks off of DAMN but had some oldies such as Collard Greens, B****h, Don’t Kill my Vibe, Swimming Pool, and ended with my favorite track from DAMN, GOD. I flipped out when that was the encore song and personally one of his favorite songs from the album. The entire audience for the most part was following along to the lyrics. Another nod to Kung Fu Kenny about the sheer influence that his craft has in the world.

Now I’m an anthropologist by nature and formally schooled too. So I want to comment about the very human moment that Kendrick shared with us. He uttered with the utmost gratitude and appreciation about how he really fucks with the energy and nature that resides within Copenhagen. I felt that personally and it’s just an authentic moment to see an all time great show those type of emotions with so many people at once. The atmosphere in the arena changed from hype to gratefulness immediately. These type of things mean a lot to me given the type of person that I am.

This is gonna be the greatest night of our lives. Give yourself a round of applause because you deserve it.”

I started tearing up because I don’t give myself a lot of credit and acknowledgment for all the things I have accomplished and shall accomplish so early in my life. For all intents and purposes I’ve earned all of these opportunities because of the work that others and I have invested in my life to make it manifest into the realms of reality. To be blunt I’m not suppose to be where I am given the odds that I faced since the very beginning of my life living in a beautiful and powerful black body. My parents always showed unwavering confidence in me. I’ll always be grateful for that.

If I loved myself half the way my mother loves me I would be invincible.

Count on it.

I’m going to meet Kendrick Lamar again one day and it’ll be one of the dopest conversations either of us would ever have with another soul.

So in loving myself that’s something I’m still figuring out. I know what I’m worth and what I bring to any relationship that I have with people. It’s not my responsibility to continuously show my worth to people who are incapable or unwilling to acknowledge and appreciate that. I’m done with that.

People are going to hurt us regardless of who we choose to build and keep a bond with. We ultimately decide who’s worth getting hurt over. I’ve made good and bad decisions concerning that but I’ll ultimately become a better me as time goes on.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that: you forgot how many times you: cried, prayed, screamed, anguish, and thought over it? That you done everything in your power to make it a reality? The toll that it takes emotionally, mentally, and physically to cycle through all of those intense emotions and feelings? Well there is one thing I haven’t done.

Nothing.

That’s very difficult for me to do. I don’t like leaving things up for chance because I have this idea that by doing so I’m not working hard enough to find another way. This mentality has its positives and negatives as does any situation.

The only thing I can and commit to is doing nothing. I’ve been waiting for a while and personally believe that there’s a limit to how proactive waiting can be. I’m very patient even in the most frustrating and important situations. Everything does have a limit though, we’re all human after all.

I’m scared.

More than anything I’m scare about the outcome.

I won’t let the fear consume my agency. There’s going to be very difficult decisions that we all have to make throughout the course of our lives and endure through them. It’s in our nature to do so.

I know at the end of the day I’m going to be happy, I decide what that looks like. I owe that to me most importantly and I’m working on bringing that gift to me. Why am I so confident. “smiles and wipes away the tears” well I’m Andru Anderson and damn it that’s more than enough. Always has always will be.

The king walks towards the middle of the platform, raises his mic at the conclusion of his performance, “I’ll be black.”

I yelled DAMN STRAIGHT at the top of my lungs with a hoarse but unwavering edge in my voice. That’s more than enough, contrary to what the world says and thinks.

Discloser: That was a lot happening in a short amount of time. Thank you for those who read this definitely TLDR post! I’m not at my best but that’s okay I’ll get there one day at a time!

Kendrick was speaking a lot of truth throughout the entire night.

1. Spread love and appreciation in ways that people want and need it. It takes time but it’s worth it and very necessary.

2. Be more selfless when it comes to being selfish. Think about that and tell me what you think I mean by that.

3. Be active and enjoy the present.

4. Give yourself and others that much needed push of encouragement.

5. Good things comes to those who wait wisely.

6. Apologize and acknowledge wrongdoings. We don’t have a right to deny when we hurt others. People don’t do it enough.

P.S: Take a break from social media. I’m blown away about how much more free time I have now. I’m working on me because I owe that to myself.

May we all find peace and gratitude wherever our lives take us separately and together.

Imma hop in this backseat and be left to my own devices. Let me know when we get there.

Ignite Hope.

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